Below are the 19 most recent journal entries recorded in insanechibiryou's LiveJournal:

Saturday, September 19th, 2009
12:12 am	A Side Note Anyone remember how I used to go on and on about this girl I had feelings for in my journals? I just came to the realization that I have completely forgotten all about her. Not because we got into an argument or anything, I just simply forgot about her as well as most of my friends. Not sure why, but yeah. Kinda figured out that my friends aren't exactly friends, considering that we don't talk much other than about games and that gets boring really quickly. Sort of missing the folk from New York, could just talk about anything over there. Oh well, just thought I'd throw that out there as well. Good night everyone. (Comment on this)
12:05 am	Headed to Shonen Jump Orlando! Ever since my birthday, my winning streak in Yu-Gi-Oh has gotten better after the release of the new ban list. I won my first tournament since it with my ZombieDrain deck, which swarms as fast as a normal Zombie deck, but cripples most effects from my opponents monster as the majority of my monsters' effects resolve in the graveyard, bypassing Skill Drain. I feel confident in myself and feel like I can probably make it to the top 16 at next sunday's Shonen Jump event in Orlando, I'd be happy with the playmat that they receive. I'm still on break until January, so it's been pretty boring staying in the house all day. Oh, my World of Warcraft account got hacked, so I won't be on for a while til Blizzard fixes the problem. So until then, I'll have to find something to do between now and then. Anyone got any ideas? (Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 1st, 2009
11:04 am	Back From New York      I actually got back from my trip on Sunday, but was too lazy to write at the time. Not the longest trip I've taken, but possibly the best one that I have been on. I had went with my mother, step father, and my two sisters to go visit my godparents. I left Florida on Friday around 9:30PM and arrived at New York at midnight. When we got out, my godfather, Eugenio, was waiting for us outside in his car. I joked with him a bit about why he hadn't brought his limo like he did for my aunt the last time she came down (he works for a limo company).      We arrived at the house and remembered I was supposed to call up an old friend of mine, Eduardo, who had just recently came to visit for Anizel's quince, because he wanted to take me to a party to meet his friends. Unfortunately, it was already too late and he ended up staying at his friend's house because he had missed his last train back home. Meanwhile, I greeted everyone at the house: my godmother, Janet, Mireya (really don't remember her), Mireya's son, Eduardo's grandmother, and my godparents' kids, Chantall and Sasha. After the warm welcome, I was made aware that it was Mireya's birthday. In order to celebrate, my godfather decided to have us all play a spanish drinking game called "TODI", which stands for "tomar" (drink), "ordenar" (order), "derecha" (right). and "isquierda" (left). The game is played with dice and the numbers are picked from the start by rolling a number for each option. If it's your turn and you on one of those, you do what the word says.      Eight rounds of the game and eight shots later, I decided to call it a night. Luckily, liquor just makes me sleepy and not stupid like some people. I'm really not the kind of person that drinks, only on special occasions and with only family and close friends, so it's really like once a month. Anyways, I woke up next afternoon due to Eduardo shaking me til I woke up. He told me he was going to the Galeria to go meet up with some friends and wanted me to go. Without even taking a moment to think, I took a shower, got dressed, and hopped in the car (well actually, we left his house at 4PM). He started explaining to me that we were going to meet a couple of girls that came down from Queens and spend time there for a bit (was definitely more than "a bit").       We arrive at the mall and we headed to the food court because that was where we were supposed to meet them. Eduardo introduced me to his three friends there: Jenny, Vicky, and Holly (just noticed they all end with a "y"). As always, I was quiet at first, listening to their conversation and make a quick comment here and there. Just as I was going to begin to speak, six more people showed up and sat at our table. Makes things worse for me because I fail to speak when there are a lot of people around, especially when I don't know any of them. Ed ditches me for a minute or so with a couple of his friends to head to Hot Topic.      Regardless of the fact that it was just Vicky at the table, I still couldn't speak and she just started texting on her cell phone. I was looking around and I had this confused look on my face when I looked at her when she was looking at me. She smiled as if saying, "I know how you feel." Minutes later, Ed came back with the other friends and some of them started to leave to go to the movies. It was back to the five of us again and then Holly and Vicky had to go to the restroom. Jenny was the first to speak to me. Ed mentioned that the girls liked anime and so she asked me what anime I watched/read. This conversation went on for about ten minutes and the subject was changed after the girls came back and Ed told me to tell the girls what my major was in college, which was a joke to him cause he knew I was going into nurse and kids about me being the next "Focker" (I know everyone has heard of "Focker" from "Meet the Parents" and "Meet the Fockers").       Surprisingly though, no laughs but encouragement instead. By this time, I was starting to talk more and four more people showed up. They were a couple of Ed's close friends from high school, Matt and Mike, with a friend of their's, Tom. Really cool people, reminded me of a few friends I have. In fact, almost everyone reminded me of someone: Eduardo is pretty much my twin except he's a lot more social; Tom reminded me of Danny who was random and funny when I knew him in high school; Vicky was a bit like Anizel in terms of clothing choice when she was younger; Mike seemed like one of those people that Anizel would chase after, so it was funny when I saw Vicky around him; Jenny's got a strong attitude kinda like Allison, not allowing others to step on her; Mike seemed to be Ed's close friend in high school but lost contact afterwards, kinda like Jairo was to me; Holly is almost identical to how Katie is, they even have the same major, but looked almost like Raechel and about her same height.       To skip ahead, we spent three hours in that food court, walked to Barnes and Nobles and spent an hour there looking at art and anime, took a ride to Mike's house and walked around his neighborhood for two hours, and finally got back home. Probably the best day in my life, wishing that I could stay in New York because those are the kind of friends I wanted but could never have in Florida. Ended up staying the night at Ed's place because our parents were on a cruise with their high school reunion and hadn't come back yet.  Next morning, Ed had to go to work (he works at Toys R Us) and I decided I'd hang around at his job until I had to leave for my flight. We went to the Westchester Pavillion and had breakfast at McDonald's. Eduardo had to go in for a meeting before it opened, so I had about an hour to kill before Toys R Us opened up. I went to the mall nearby and walked around there, only to find that all the stores were closed.      Another thing I noticed was that everyone else in the mall had the appearance of rich folks while I was walking around in my baggy jeans, which would explain why I just did not fit in that mall. I walked back to the Pavillion and went into the Sports Authority to have a look around. Punched the punching bag a few times and looked at the paintball guns before I walked out and headed back to Toys R Us. Couldn't find Ed anywhere, so I just started playing some Guitar Hero and Fight Night til he comes from out of nowhere and scares me. We head to his section of the store where the bikes are and we just kind of chilled there. He asked me to fill out some membership card applications for some birthday thing using false information just so he could get the ten he needed for that day. Had some fun with that and I walked around the store for a bit. Found the Star Wars section and I was just goofing off with the lightsaber when Ed comes from nowhere again, swinging his own lightsaber.      Our lightsaber duel would have looked like a scene from the movie and this kid at the end of the aisle looks like he's amazed and runs off saying, "Mommy! The Jedi and the Sith are fighting!" Ed and I looked at each other and laughed and we put the lightsabers down as he had to go help at the registers. Looked at the Yu-Gi-Oh cards to see how much they were going for and it was a five dollar difference more than it was in Florida, so I walked away. Found a pogo stick and must have hopped around the store about three times til Ed got off on his lunch break. Went back to Micky D's and we were talking about the previous day and how much fun it had been. He had to get back to work and I went back down. The rest of the day went by kind of slow until we met up with Natalie walking in the store, one of his co-workers. Once again, reminded me of Lizzy from here were she had a similar appearance and behavior. I was helping them put some items back when Ed mentions that one of those life-like babies makes a farting noise when you get nearby and we all cracked up when we heard it. It was nearing the end of his shift and I helped him put the bikes that the kids had left all over the store back in their places and then we head back to the house.      I packed my bag and said goodbye to everyone as I headed towards my godmother's car and she made her way to drop us off. I said goodbye to her and looked back and hoped I'd be back there again. So that leads me back here to Florida. Eduardo and I plan on going either to Canada or Japan sometime during the summer with a few of his friends which I look forward to but is too far away. I may end up going again sometime this month or the next for two weeks, so I'm gonna start saving up. I'm looking for a new job at this restaurant where my mom knows the manager, so I will probably be able to make better money there than in the hospital (my aunt's husband says he comes back home with about $400-$600 a day in tips). Until then, I'm stuck here in Florida but I will have something to look forward to. Current Music: Welcome Home - Coheed and Cambria (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 8th, 2009
10:35 am	Tough Times      With Anizel's Quinceneara coming up soon, it's supposed to be nice for a while. Unfortunately, that's not the case at home. As her mother, my aunt should be paying for the stuff for the party. Ever since she came back from New York with her new boyfriend, she doesn't seem to give us as much attention as before and is blowing off her money on going out with him. Because of this, she could care less what happens to Anizel. About a week ago, Anizel came back from her friend's house, bruised on both arms, bottom of her lip, and her breasts (from what I've been told), also the inside of her mouth a bit cut from "supposedly" wrestling. Aside from the fake stuff that I've seen on TV, I'm not sure you can get that from wrestling, unless it's really friggin aggresive.      Our trip to Disney World last weekend turned out to be a disaster. Wasn't as fun as when we usually go the other times, sisters were complaining every second there, and we ended up bailing on the last park after only being there for a good 2-3 hours due to rain. Yesterday was a bad day at work. Got into an argument with an MRI tech when I came back with my last patient sent down cause I took 30 minutes on the job, only cause I had a nurse pull me aside to help her with another patient. After all the hard work I did (did I mention I took no break?), he finds one stupid thing to complain about and I'm probably going to hear about from my supervisor today. Joy.      Oh yeah, to add on top of the aunt issue, she and mom (grandmother, whatever...) got into a huge argument and aunt ended up getting kick out from home (didn't give her half of the rent so she could buy stuff for Anizel's quince, never happened). Honestly, place is becoming hell ever since my father passed away. It was because of him that home was great cause he had us laugh and we were always together. Too much going on right now and I can't keep up. College when I wake up, work when I finish class, study when I get home, and sleep. Barely have time to catch up with friends now.      Probably the only good news since I was reminded recently of is that I'm pretty much out of that arranged marriage thing. However, same dilemma with figuring out if the girl I like feels the same. With everything that has happened, I haven't had much time to talk to her either, so that sucks. Anyways, changing subject. Switched back to Draenor on WoW, starts to get boring when there's no one around to play with. Didn't want to level my original rogue back to 80 again, so I'm working on my warrior. Last left him at 72, leveling pretty fast considering he's prot spec. Guild's kinda like it was before, in the sense that it's fun again due to the lack of people for raids and so that means more jokes and more people to talk to.      Attended the Yu-Gi-Oh regionals about 2-3 weeks ago (man, I'm all over the place with dates right now), placed 50th out of 200+ players with a deck built in 5 minutes, only because I left my Blackwing deck home (sucks, might have placed higher). I don't plan on attending another one for a while, damn thing is friggin long; I was there for almost 9 hours. At least Alex got his invite to Nationals, but he's going to quit (which I don't understand. Why quit when you just got your invite? Give it to MEEEE....). I have to quit for a bit too, just until this term is over. Selling the cards on eBay is going pretty well, except for the set of Solemn Judgments (person says he never received it. I have no way of knowing cause they don't offer tracking confirmation number to Peru, so they took $100 from my account. Woohoo...). Made over $600 from cards I don't use anymore and some are actually high in value (like Solemns, who knew they were going to get so popular when they first came out? Going for $33 now). Which reminds me, probably will take that money to go on my own vacation somewhere (I don't know where, but somewhere away from home) for a few days.      Anyways, need to get back to class, have to focus on this Excel stuff. Never used it before, but it's actually pretty interesting. Will post again next time I'm up to writing. Current Mood: working (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, May 9th, 2009
8:20 pm	It's Been How Long? About five months have passed since my father has passed and things are not getting any better. My mother is very depressed, especially during this month. May happens to be their anniversary, mother's day, and her birthday. Even though some of us are here for her, she still feels alone. I wish I could do something for her, but anything I seem to do turns out bad and makes things worse. *sigh* I've quit Yu-Gi-Oh (again, wonder how long this will last this time). Trying to sell off some of my cards on eBay and it's been successful so far, so if anyone is interested, let me know. I might find myself going to see someone for help because I haven't felt like myself for a while now. Talking to my friends usually has helped, but I haven't had the time to speak to any of them lately. Anyways, I believe my mother has a trip planned for later on this month or next month . We may end up either visiting a friend of her's in Puerto Rico or a friend of her's in California. Either way, I do need this change of scenery to get some things off of my mind. I'll try updating when I can as often as possible now. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, January 12th, 2009
10:26 pm	"Go Back Two Spaces"    So college has started again and I feel lost since I have been there for a good three to four months. Handwriting is crappy again, so I need to start writing a lot now. I promised myself that when I started college again, I would quit World of Warcraft, and I've done pretty well in keeping that promise. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depends on how you view it), I've picked up my Yu-Gi-Oh deck once again for the 5D season. I bought the new zombie deck which has beefed up my deck a bit, but does nothing against meta (overplayed) decks. Hoenstly, people need to be more original; it's disappointing that the majority of players now use the same decks (TeleDAD, Lightsworn, or Gladiator Beasts). It kills the fun out of the game that people will do anything just to win. *sighs*    Ah, so it was Pat's (Jin's) birthday yesterday. The day before, he had a party and there were a lot of people there. It was loads of fun, did a lot there. Played SSB Brawl, pool, soccer, Uno, and then we were just talking. Woke up yesterday really early and started playing Yu-Gi-Oh with the decks that I brought. Eventually, we played a 2vs2 game, everyone with a different deck. Patrick was playing his Six Samurai deck. Alex borrowed my Zombie Swarm deck. Pat's friend, Victor, used my cousin's, Anizel, Beginner's Beatdown deck I made for her. Me, I played with my banned deck I made just to play with another banned deck, but they allowed me to use it. Everyone watching was into it, those who were playing, Anizel, Pat's friend Johnny, and Pat's girlfriend Eli (who tried to learn how to play before this 2vs2 game).    Wish I had recorded it cause the game was fun as hell. I forgot what it was like to play with the cards that were banned, it's too bad that the majority of that deck was. Anyways, the point was that I had fun there. OMGWTFTOPICCHANGE!!1! So I've been having dreams that I haven't had in... six months, give or take? Guess when you stop talking to someone, you just start thinking about them out of the blue, if you care about them, consciously or in your dreams. Honestly, I'm having trouble keeping up with anyone since I haven't had much time to get on MSN or AIM lately. ... That reminds me. Katie, if you're reading this, the gift I had sent out a while back came back to me cause I had mom try to send it after getting some stamps and she sent it... without any stamps (that explains I there was no "thank you" or anything of the sort lol). I'll try to send it when I can get those stamps. For all those reading, I'll try to update more and try to keep up with you all when I can. Thanks for listening again. Current Mood: satisfied (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 25th, 2008
6:15 pm	Pondering About My Faith    Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Haven't really felt like writing after my father passed away. So today is Christmas, hope you all are enjoying your Christmas or your holidays if you don't celebrate Christmas. A little upset cause all I got were clothes, but I didn't ask for anything in the first place, so it's my fault. Recently, I have been having a lot of thoughts in my head, one in particular that had some me teary. My cousin had me listen to this song called "Cassie." Forgot who sings it, but it has a sad message in it. Two girls are kidnapped and there is a gun pointed at them. Person holding the gun asks them if they believe in God. If they said yes, he shoots them. If not, he'd let them go (May need to listen to this song again cause I'm still unsure about all of this, only remember parts of it). The first girl, Cassie, answers yes to his question. Man puts a bullet with some words engraved on it, "Do you believe in God?" inside of the chamber and shoots her, which kills her. The other girl answers no when she's asked and he lets her go.    From what I heard, this actually happened, or at least based on something that happened. What I'm thinking is what would I do if I were placed in that situation. I've never really been a big believer in my own religion, sometimes doubting it at some points in my life. Even so, I still believe. Saying no to the question means tossing away your faith just to keep yourself alive. If you're not in a religion that believes in a God or something alike, it's no big deal, you can say no without any guilt. If you've been raised with a certain religion, you may end up feeling that guilt for the rest of your life. God's supposed to be forgiving, but I'm not sure if that might be forgiven.    What if you say yes? Again, I'm not a big believer. I can't prove that God exists and that there is actually a heaven (although I would like to beleive that). But what if it doesn't? You die and there's nothing after that. If it does exist, though, you die for something that you believe in. Probably one of the things worth dying for. Honestly, I can't answer this now, but it does have me thinking.    The other thing on my mind was brought up after hanging out with a girl I once liked in high school. She always did go for looks, ended up getting hurt each time, it sucks. Smallest feelings still there, but we're good friends and we're probably better off that way. Anyways, so just found out that I will be getting married in several months. She asked me a very important question that day, "What do you two have in common?" It occurred to me that I barely know her at all. I mean it won't be 'real' but it would be nice to spend the next two years of my life with someone that I can enjoy being around. That's another thing too, two years of my life. As I've mentioned before in my previous journals, I have feelings for someone who I now feel like I may never get to tell because of this. It's killing me inside slowly. I want to tell her, but it's pointless because of this marriage. But even if I weren't getting married, I'm not even sure she feels the same way as I've never been well in figuring out signals from girls. If she did like me, we're miles apart. I'd like it to work out, but I think I'm only kidding myself. I've had something similar to that years ago, lasted two years but it sucked cause I could never actually hold her, kiss her, be there for her... Things would be so much simpler if we lived close by. I don't actually speak to her like on the phone or in person, so telling her would be difficult if I ever did muster up the courage to say anything.  (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 27th, 2008
9:37 pm	The Worst Thanksgiving Ever I'd like to talk to someone about this, but there's nobody around right now, unfortunately... In short, dad came out of the hospital yesterday. He's back in today and he is dying, he may not come back this time... Current Mood: crushed (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, November 24th, 2008
8:14 am	Going Through Terrible Times   Turns out my father's not doing so well. He's in the hospital and they are prepping him for surgury as a type. First they need to remove the fluid that's inside his lungs and then they will start the chemo treatment. My dad is suffering a lot and, unfortunately, there's nothing I can do for him. Yesterday, I made him feel resented towards me. Started the day before actually, I went to the hospital to go see him very early two days ago. I stayed with him for about three hours and grew very tired and fell asleep, but only because he was resting too. My mom and aunt came by to get me something to eat and I did, but I was still tired and ending up sleeping on a recliner til four (so that's like another four hours I slept). I woke up and I couldn't stay there anymore, I had nothing to do there. My cousin kept pushing and pushing to go home cause she had a friend coming over and it was planned a week ago (she's very inconsiderate, I don't know what has happened to her in the past couple of years). So I said bye to everyone and drove with my cousin back to the house. I guess that was my first mistake.    Later on that day, we had to celebrate the birthday of another aunt of mine and her daughter. Now, anyone who knows me knows that I am not much of a person to drink, but I have no idea how I got tipsy so fast. I only had two beers and something that I probably shouldn't have taken from my step-father. Couldn't help it, I was giggling throughout the whole thing and eating a lot (like I had a sudden case of the munchies, or at least what I thought was like that cause I've never experienced that before). Everyone tried to get me to drink some more and I left while I was still aware of my actions (hooray for strong willpower). Walked home and I remember calling people from my phonebook and from there, everything's still a little fuzzy.    It's the next day and mom wakes me up to tell me that my dad is in pain and the nurses fucked up with the pain meds and they refused to give him anymore because it's supposed to be controlled. The nurse fucks up and my dad has to suffer for another hour. Mom said that we were going to go to the hospital again very early and I don't know what was going on with me, but I said to her that I refused to go to the hospital that early again. Only an hour later did I realize what I said and I felt bad. Second mistake. Dad calls maybe fifteen minutes later and tells us that they are going to give him the pain meds and that we shouldn't worry. We go out to breakfest with the family and my dad calls my phone. I ask him how he's doing and he later asks if my mom is around and instead of continuing the conversation, I was in a rush to give the phone to my mom. Third mistake.     So my mom and aunt went to the hospital without mentioning it to me and I end up staying in the house with another cousin of mine who had just came over from New York for a couple of days. I tried to find something entertaining for us to do for a while, but I got rid of most of my games from my PS2. We were playing Guitar Hero for a bit til my PS2 started acting up. Tried to play Devil May Cry 3 and PS2 acted up again. Then he decided to take a nap. I went to play WoW and have no idea how much time passed by and my cousin wakes up later. He asks me if I want to go to the mall, but he says only for a short while. I was too into the game and I told him I'd probably meet up with him later. Mom and aunt comes back and mom is not feeling well, feels like her chest is going to explode. We rushed to get some ointment that's supposed to lower her heart pressure and I had to take her vitals every five minutes to see if she was getting better. It was horrible when she first came in, moaning in pain. Thought that I couldn't handle two parents doing horrible at the same time.     My real mother comes in minutes later and she's worried out of her mind (I'll start referring to mom as grandma and real mother as mom now). Moment later, I get the talk from all the of them that this game is getting way out of hand, that I do nothing else but that. I didn't get mad, I think it actually sunk in this time. Ever since I took the semester off, all I have been doing is WoW and then work. Same thing everyday, I can honestly say that I have no life, and that sucks cause I don't think anyone wants to be in that situation. I've made the decision that I will be quiting once this subscription time is over, but I may be on for less time periods than before. My real priority right now should be my dad and I should be trying to help out with the bills around the house since it's just my aunt and I who are working right now. I need to change soon, need to drop this bad habit of mine... (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 12th, 2008
7:25 pm	WotLK in 4.5 hours! I will be picking up my copy in about 4.5 hours. Hey chaos, if you're on by then, could you invite my death knight please? Probably might name it Sithmindtrix. Thanks =). Anyone else who gets it, enjoy the game! (Comment on this)
Monday, November 10th, 2008
9:22 pm	Short Summary of Peru (Lima to Cusco and second arrival to Lima) Unfinished Well, I haven't really gotten around to writing about the trip. Thought I should do just short summaries of each day, at least the most important things. So... Here goes: Day 1: Arrival at Lima, Peru. Meet Mirian, Jasmin, and Jonatan for the first time. Meet up with Manolo and Teresa and eat at a delicious seafood restaurant. Short nap afterwards. Wake up to go eat some chicken at Norky's with everyone. We prepare the bags we will be taking with us to Cusco and hit the sack. Day 2: Wake up extremely early to get to the airport in Lima to Cusco. Mirian and Jasmin join us on this trip. Flight is delayed and we end up taking different flights. Meet up again and take taxis to bus stations in Lima. The women take taxis back to the train station to get the tickets for our round trip to Machu Picchu. They come back and we find someone to drive us all the way to our hotel in Urumbamba, which is like a two hour trip. He offers to drive us around Cusco for the days we're there. Man seems nice, so we pretty much hired him for the trip. We get settled and go out to eat. Day 3: Ate breakfast early and had Enrique (the man that drove us) drive us to Lares, which was like a 4 hour drive. Involved driving through a lot of mountains and we passed by a lot of poor children that never heard of bread and candy. We handed out food to each of the kids that asked us for food. Some even ran far distances just to get to us. So sad... someone should do something for these kids. At Lares, there are hot springs that are supposed to heal the impurities in your body (supposed to get rid of sicknesses). Came back when it was pitch black, seemed faster. Many of us ended getting sick, except for mom, dad, and me. (Comment on this)
Friday, October 24th, 2008
9:38 pm	Day Two in Peru (Unfinished)    So we woke up around three in the morning to get our stuff ready and head to the airport to fly to Cusco around four so we could be there before our flight at six. We had arrived at four thirty, but we were waiting on Mirian and Jasmin to arrive, as they were going to be going with us on this trip. They were taking a while and finally got there at five. We all checked in our bags together and then headed towards the gates. On our way there, we found out that we had to pay some taxes, so we had to make a line, and finally got out with ten minutes to spare before the flight. We rushed to the plane and made it, catching our breath in our seats. As we waited for the plane to take off, the captain had said that there might be a slight delay and that we would have to wait about twenty minutes before leaving. Twenty minutes went by and the flight was then cancelled due to bad weather in Cusco. Man were we pissed.    We all went back to the waiting area and waited for our flights to be rescheduled for later times. Mirian and Jasmin were scheduled for around ten and the rest of us had to wait until twelve. Jasmin asked to use the laptop with Anizel and I let them use it. Took a nap right after, woke up about an hour later. My head hurt like hell and it was still wasn´t anywhere close to our departure time. Moving along... Mirian and Jasmin left their plane and it was maybe eleven when this happened. Had the urge to go to the bathroom, so I went. As I left, some random person asks me where the men´s bathroom is, but in Spanish and horribly pronounced. Seems like I was blocking the sign, so I turned, just to make sure. I chuckle and tell him it´s right behind me in English.    Finally, we board our flight and it takes off ten minutes later than expected. All was well til we were about to land and there was a lot of turbulence as we went through the fog before landing. Mom was screaming her head off and all I could do to try to calm her down was hold her hand. The land was kindy shaky as well, it freaked everyone out. Moments later, we all get off the plane and complain abou how bumpy the landing was. Suprisingly when we got there, Mirian and Jasmin were waiting for us near the outside. Mirian was looking bored, sitting on her bag, while Jasmin was sleeping on the floor. Funny stuff, but very nice of them to wait for us.    We grabbed our stuff and walked outside, lookng for a taxi to take us to the bus station that takes us to the other places near Cusco. I believe we took two taxis... Yeah, we did. When we got to the bus station, we pretty much just toss all our stuff in front of the station and the women went to take another taxi to go to the train station and get tickets for Machu Picchu. So it was my dad, Anizel, Jasmin, and myself just waiting there, inhaling the awful pollution given off from the vehicles that passed by us. I have never seen so much friggin smoke in my life before. Not only that, but I was paranoid, afraid that I might have someone try to snatch one of our things and run off with it. Fortunately, nothing like that happened that day, or until now. People did give my cousin an odd look though, they have no problem staring at you and they don´t look away. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, October 20th, 2008
8:35 am	Looking Back on the Past So after finishing editing and writing about my first day in Peru, I decided to look back on my old journal entries cause I´m feeling kinda depressed. Don´t want to talk about about now, you will see why later on in my journals. But anyways, this depression is nowhere even close to how I used to be about4-5 years ago. I feel like hitting myself for thinking like I used to, I actually thought about killing myself and hated the world for everything that happened to me. So those journals are gone now, simply memories in my head. People see me as quiet and probably thought I might end up shooting up a school (and they probably might still thik that). Look, the reason I´m quiet and keep to myself is because I´ve lost a lot of good friends as I was young. They´ve either moved away and I never saw them again or they´ve moved on with another crowd and refuse to be accociated with me. They might be right about anger, but never to the point where I think about killing anyone, or a school no less. Sure, I might feel like punching someone in the face every once in a while, but it´d probably get to me afterwards. I worry too much about people and it gets the best of me sometimes. Like yesterday afternoon, I made someone feel guilty about something that happened that happened much earlier after midnight and now she´s worried and she left home that way. Now I feel like shit for making her feel that way, it was not my intention. Hurts me when I hurt someone else. *scoffs* Friends might call me soft or a pussy if they read this, but I say fuck you. Mostly everyone in Florida is caught up in their own and are afraid to show who they really are because they´re afraid of what others might think about them. They end up what others do just so they can fit in with society. Honestly, get a personality and be yourself. If you want to talk to someone cause you think they´re interesting, do it. If you like somone and you want to be with them, but people might find that person as different, do it anyway. If you enjoy reading but your friends believe that reading is retarded, readthe book you like anyways. Stop holding back because of what others think, if people don´t appreciate you for who you are and are constantly pushing you to change, they aren´t really your friends and they ought to go fuck themselves. You know, maybe it´s just like that only in Florida. Or maybe people all over the U.S. let people change them. I´m glad to say that people here in Peru aren´t like that, they´re not afraid to express how they really feel instead of pretending to feel something else. I believe I´ll end this rant here and hope this message meant something to someone who read it. If you were one of my friends that I lost contact with for a while, this may have been targeted towards you. If you were someone who I just added and don´t really know, then this definitely is for you. Don´t take it personally, but that´s just what I think. Perhaps you´ll learn from it, maybe you´ll ignore it. But if you read this, I´m not mad at you, I´d like to thank you. I´d like to try to keep in touch with most of you, but sometimes our lives prevent us to do so. Don´t be afraid to drop a ``Hi´´ or something every once in a while, I´ll do the same whenever possible. If you´ve got a LJ account and you just started reading my entries, add me. I´d like to know how your life is going on. I really don´t spend much time on MySpace, DeviantArt, or FaceBook anymore, I prefer to spend my time here writing or on MSN messenger or AIM. Find me on MSN under Yugimuto222@msn.com (too lazy to change) or AIM under spiritofsorrow1. Hell, drop me an e-mail if you can´t find me on, I´ll try to reply as fast as I can. We could probably hang out or something, I don´t care. I´d just like to keep in contact with you guys. I´ve already lost too many good friends, I don´t want to lose the rest of you as well. Thanks for taking the time for hearing me out and hope we can talk sometime. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, October 17th, 2008
4:03 pm	The Arrival at Peru (Revised)    Well, I´ve been trying to find some time to get around to writing about my trip, so this is the first time I have to use the computer and write. For those of you who didn´t know, I have taken about a three week trip to Peru with most of my family, which would include: mom, dad, my aunt Tathy, and my cousin Anizel. The main reason for this trip is cause of the ``Señor de los Milagros,´´ but for visiting other attractions there as well. Wish I could explain what that is, but I´m not too sure of it myself, except that it´s this big Peruvian festival thing which happens either (and I´m just assuming) the third saturday of October or on October 18th, going with that because it is tomorrow. Anyways, so I left for the trip on the 8th at midnight, very tired. It was about a five hour flight which was barely noticable, thanks to the TVs that each passenger has at their own seat.    When we arrived, my mom´s friend, Mirian, was waiting for us at the airport there with her daughter, Jasmin, and her son, Jonatan. My mom hugged Mirian tightly and cried as it had been a long time they had seen each other, about twelve years I believe. We all greeted each other and carried our bags to the rental car as Mirian, Jasmin, and Jonatan took a taxi. I was kinda shocked when we drove outside of the Lima airport, the building and streets were dirty, seemed kinda gloomy. Course, that could have been because we had arrived there about 5 in the morning. My family followed the taxi as he was looking for the hostel we had reserved for about two hours, seems he couldn´t find the street it was on. When we did arrive, nobody answered the bell, so we were pretty much stuck out there waiting for about fifteen minutes until we finally gave up on the place. Mom realized that she had another friend, Manolo, who lived nearby, so we had the taxi take us there as we followed.    When we arrived at Manolo´s place, we paid the taxi driver and took our bags inside Manolo´s house after he greeted us. We all talked for a while, since it had been a year since he came to Florida to visit us. Afterwards, we all went to a restaurant to eat, since it had been a while since we last ate. Man, the seafood here is so much better here that it is in United States, probably because the fish here is fresh, much like the other food here. When I say the Ceviche tasted amazing, I´m comparing it against my mother´s Ceviche, which is pretty much famous among anyone who has tried it. If you haven´t tried it, it´s spicy kinda sour cause of all the lemon juice on it and has shrimp and other seafood in it (mom usually uses Tilapia). And the Jalea....oh man. Could have sworn I had died and went to heaven. Very crunchy and each fish had it´s unique taste. Could have eaten a second plate had I not been trying out everyone else´s food. Jonatan had to leave afterwards to help his wife, who was two months pregnant. The rest of us went to a clinic where they do Lasik surgery, for me. I´ve grown tired of wearing glasses and I have trouble with contacts on, so we figured that I could get my eyesight corrected here for less. Yes, I know what you´re probably thinking, ``It´s a third-world country, isn´t it risky to get it done over there?´´ It may be a third-world country, but the U.S. is crap in terms of surgery and health. Sure, we may have all the latest stuff, but doctors and healthcare treat their patients like shit.    So they run some tests on my to see if I am a good candidate for Lasik surgery and it all turned out well, except that the doctor suggested that I do it at a later date because I was flying out to Cusco with the family the next day. So we agreed and decided to schedule it for the 17th, which is today. Mirian and Jasmin had to go right after to get permission from Jasmin´s father so she could get permission to come with us to Cusco. The rest of us decided to head back to Manolo´s house cause we were still burnt out from the trip. As soon as we got there, I must have crashed on the couch for a good two hours or so. When I woke up, Tathy, Anizel, and I waited for our parents (actually my grandparents, just to let you know) to come back from visiting the cemetary to visit their deceased grandparents, who they unfortunately were unable to help bury at the time of their death (will be explained in my later journals).    Once they came back, we all wanted to try some Pollo a la Brasa, so we went to a local restaurant here called ``Norky´s,´´ which reminded me a lot of Chuck E. Cheese in a sense, but served chicken instead of pizza and none of the games, just those places the kids climb and some animal hugging random kids. Anyways, the chicken was the best thing I had tasted.  and there was an overabundance of fries to share, just cause Peru has so many potatoes to give due to the variety of potatoes in the country. Ketchup tastes different here, a bit sweeter, perhaps better than the U.S. And of course, the ever popular Inca Kola. May I just say, best soda ever! No idea what the flavor issupposed to be, but it´s friggin good. If you´ve never had one before, stop reading this, find a Peruvian restaurant or supermarket that sells imported stuff from Peru and get yourself one. If you don´t like it... Well, I´m not sure what to say, everyone has their own preferrence. After filling our stomachs, we finally headed back to Manolo´s house for our final restthere and got our things ready for the nextday, as we were heading to Cusco early in the morning. As a side note, this is gonna take me a long time to write about each and every day, expect an unfinished journal every so often. This journal took me a bit to finish due to eye surgery on the 17th and had to remain away from the computer, television, or reading for 48 hours. I am glad to say that the surgery went well and extremely fast, like five minutes per eye or less. Seeing better than before now, doc says I have a 20/15 vision which is great. Unfortunately, I have gone away from my prescription glasses and am now forced to wear sunglasses until otherwise (and I hate how I look in these sunglasses, kinda looks like the ones that you might see cops  wearing). If you don´t want to wait for each journal entry and just want to ask me about some specifics, catch me online MSN. Email is Yugimuto222@msn.com, which I never bothered to change cause I was too lazy to do so. Thank you for reading my journal entry, hope you enjoyed it and hope you enjoy the others that are yet to come. Current Mood: accomplished (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 12th, 2008
9:35 pm	Row row row your boat, Cuban refugees...    Today was such a nice day. I had a great time sleeping, ending up waking up in the afternoon. I just kinda relaxed, drawing a bit. Then I played a bit of Guitar Hero til my arms started getting a bit sore. I headed to work and just drove the golf cart around til it was time to leave. I couldn't have asked for a more relaxed day. Unfortunately, it had been raining all day, so some of the roads were flooded. I normally take a certain route to get home, but it was blocked off due to an accident, so I had to take an alternate route. I was just about to get home when the parking lot I had to pass to get home was flooded. Didn't seem so high, so I started to drive through it. That was til a wave of water washed over my car and I was stuck in the middle of a flood.     Smoke began to come out of the roof of my car and I thought my car was going to explode. I looked around and there was a lot of people just looking at what was going on. It pissed me off and when I focused on the car, I must have panicked for about a minute. I realized that I had to get out of the car before it started to fill up, since I could already feel the water at my feet. I opened the window and set the car in drive. I sat out on the window and looked below to see how high the water was. I hesistated at first, but I said to myself, "Fuck it... It's either my clothes or my car. And I can get new work clothes." I hopped in the water and began to push the car out of the water. I managed to push it halfway out and my arms were starting to tire out. That was until some man with his family all came to help me push it out of the water and leave it parked right by my apartment building. I thanked them all for being the only ones to help and wished them well.     Others began to come closer to the car to see if I was alright. I wanted to punch them all in the face for just staring, but I was just glad that I got out of that situation. With my clothes soaked, I walked home and went inside, having to explain what happened to my parents. I quickly changed and just went off to martial arts class. It was slow, kind of boring. You know, sometimes I miss my old instructor. Sure he would make us work our asses off, but it felt good afterwards and none of us ended up getting hurt. Sucks he had to go off and train with the S.E.A.L.S. Now we're stuff with some professional MMA fighter who is somewhat horrible at teaching us as well as the owner's son, who is about the same age as me. So, what did we learn today? My luck sucks! Oh well, I can only hope tomorrow will be a better day. (Comment on this)
Friday, August 8th, 2008
10:20 pm	For Every Bad Comes a Better    So I had a pretty bad day yesterday, but today made up for that. I woke up refreshed today and had a pretty slow day at work. About four hours in, my boss calls me into his office. Honestly, I thought that I had done something wrong, but he had actually called me in to offer me a better job position that pays a little bit more than what I am receiving and gives me some benefits, such as funding for college once a year. How could I refuse? I had to do a bit of training and I found it quite simple. Went home and just relaxed pretty much for the rest of the day and I feel better now with less pain that yesterday. That pretty much sums it all up today. (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 7th, 2008
10:53 pm	An Off Day     So I woke up this morning, thinking today would be a great day since it is the first day of my short vacation from college till next term starts. Turns out that this could have been the worst day of my life, or one of them. As soon as I wake up, my dad starts yelling at me to take the dog out to walk when he took him out just three hours before I woke up. Not only that, but he asks me to move some of this new furniture that we got around so we could make some more space in the room and he's telling me that I'm not trying hard enough. Gee, maybe it's because my whole body is in pain after the intense martial arts training I have to endure every day of the week? Anyways, we get that done and mom comes back home from work. As always, she has to bitch about something as soon as she walks through that door. "Why is there dog hair all over the house!?" "The fuck are you guys doing just sitting around all day?" And the worst one, which last about fifteen minutes, after walking into her room, "Who the fuck gave you permission to move my furniture around? It's my room and I decide where what goes where!" Unfortunately, all this anger was directed towards my dad, who then started yelling at me, and then I had to hear it from both of them, THE FUCK!?      The day goes by and I have to head to work. In a sense, work has always been somewhat of a getaway for me cause we don't really do much, just move patients around in stretchers or wheelchairs wherever they have to go. So I am assigned to my first patient and it happens to be the private patient my mother is taking care of. She asked me to notify her if she was going to be moved to the hospice unit (in case you don't know what hospice is, that's where the near-death patients go where they are given meds to help them stop the suffering or help them sleep til their time has come). I make my way up there with the stretcher, call my mother up and tell her the news. She tells me that she's going to rush to the hospital as fast as she can and to wait for her at the room. I step inside and I recognize someone visiting her; it was my environmental science teacher back in high school. I don't think he noticed me at the time and I just continued to prep the patient onto the stretcher. She seemed fine when I got in and when I got her on the stretcher, though she could barely keep her eyes open. She holds my hand as she's on the stretcher, squeezes, gives a loud breath, and lets go. I look at her and she's not breathing or moving. I check her vitals and I think I started trembling after that point; this patient had just died right in front of me.       I swear to God, I wanted to break down and cry at that moment. I never had anyone I knew die and this was the first time I experienced it. But I held in my tears and gave my teacher and his father the news. They were upset, but glad that she had gone peacefully. My mother entered the room and spoke to the nurse who was there to see what happened. Afterwards, she took me outside and tried to comfort me. She could see I was terrified by the look in my eyes. I couldn't even speak. About an hour later, my old teacher finally recognizes me and begins to speak to me about how terrific my mother was with his mother and he could see how I became the person I am today and praised me for it. This coming from someone else, it meant a lot to me. Especially a teacher. I mean, you would expect it from parents cause they live with you and they want you to keep on going. But from someone you only knew for a year or someone you've hardly ever seen, it hits you. I wanted to give him my apologies for his loss, but I couldn't... I couldn't because I was thinking about my father, who has lung cancer. In my mind, I was saying to myself, "Thank God that it's not my father there who is laying there dead."      When I realized what I had said self-consciously, I felt disgusted and couldn't bear to say anything except, "Take care," and just give him a handshake. I rushed out of there, logged myself out of work, and got in my car. I yelled as long as I could and just began to hit the car seats and ended up hitting the dashboard swinging wildly, bruising my left hand. This must have gone on for about a good half an hour. I went home and just got out when I saw my dad heading to work. He also so it in my eyes and told me that that's how life is. Some tears must have fallen and I hugged him tightly and walked away before he could realize anything. I took about an hour break and then I had to get to my martial arts class. Normally, I perform really well and am able to keep up with the pace of the class. Because of earlier, I found it difficult to concentrate and ended up lagging behind. We had to wrestle with a partner today and ended up with a minor concussion near the end of class. Tried to shake it off, but my whole body was out of whack when I got up.      My stupid cousin was insisting that we go to the beach after class, knowing that I had just took a great blow to the head. I could only tell her no; I wanted to yell, but I was still in pain and could barely do anything. She got pissed and took off like she normally does when she doesn't get what she wants. And so, we are here now and I'm just laying on my bed, just typing away. Oh, something I read earlier today had gotten to me when I read it and I had it stuck on my mind for a long time til I reread it again and I was like, "Oh.... I feel stupid." Perhaps the only good things today were the comments I received from both my old teacher and Katie. Means a lot to me hearing that from you both, I really appreciate that (even the unnoticeble weakness, which I hear a lot. Still working on that). You know... now that I think about it, most people still don't know the real me, even some of my closest friends. Reason being is that I have this fear of getting to close to people cause of the fear of losing them. It sounds stupid, I know, but that's still not as bad as my fear of being alone. I have so many things that bother me, really, but I try not to let others see it. It's not that I'm trying to prove that I'm tough or anything, it's because I hate having people worry about me. It depresses them sometimes and then I get depressed seeing them upset and sometimes feel that I am the cause of it. I like to try to please people instead of hurting them, that's just my way of being. I could be more assertive than I have to, but I hate that side of me because I tend to be rude and I hate that side of myself, that's like reverting back to my middle school days when I was rebellious. Anyways, I can only hope tomorrow is a better day. Thank you for taking the time for hearing me out. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
1:42 pm	How I See You  How I See You... Leave a comment with your name if you want to know what I really think of you, and I'll reply and tell you. No lies, all honesty. Post it in your journal after I do yours so I can see the reverse. (Taken from Chaos) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, July 12th, 2008
1:05 am	Gone For Like... Ever?      It's been more than three years since I last posted something on this website. Nobody reads what I have to say, but I need to get some stuff off of my chest. Sleep has been very hard for me to get recently because I have so much thoughts running through my head. Like, over the past few days, I've just noticed the changes I've gone through in my life. As a kid, I always tried so hard to be like the cool kids, although I don't think I was ever accepted that way; besides the fact that I was friends with a lot of them. I was also a bit overweight and kind of small. During middle school, I became somewhat rebellious. Let myself go and grew only a bit taller. Got into a lot of fights and ran my mouth off as well. When I arrived at high school, I became timid. Grew pretty tall compared to most people and lost some weight and have been able to maintain it since. Didn't speak much unless I was spoken to or knew someone for a while. Took a lot of shit from people and stayed quiet since I tried to avoid trouble then. Met some great people, but discovered the worst sides of some of my friends there too. I'm in college now and it's sort of the same as high school, except I'm starting to loosen up a bit now; able to start talking to people without having them asking me something and such.      My taste in music has changed over the years too. Elementary, my oldest cousin gave me an Eminem CD and that's pretty much all I listened too til the end of elementary. In middle school, my friend, Ivan, introduces me to Linkin Park. I remember one night I listened to "In The End" over and over for like an hour straight and asked myself, "Am I actually becoming a rocker," which I find hilarious now because you can't be defined as a rocker just cause you like one rock song and listen to it repeatedly. In high school, I started to distance myself from rap and hip-hop and moved more towards other types of rock from what I heard from games, montages, radio, and friends. I think Jedi Mind Tricks was the only good hip-hop group that I still enjoyed listening to until after their "Violent By Design" CD. In college and all I listen to is the rock I have on my laptop. I drive to school with my laptop in my front seat (cause I don't have a CD player in my stereo) and jam out to my music coming back and forth. Yeah, I through in some of that trance/techno/house in there and maybe some bachata and salsa in there too.      So... I'm in college now and only have these set of pre-requisites that I'm working on right now to get into the nursing program that I've been trying to get into for a while now. My grades have been great up until now, this Anatomy/Physiology II is just killing me and my English Composition teacher can't even keep up with her friggin syllabus which is confusing the hell out of me cause I have no idea where I stand. I really want these classes to be over with soon. I have a trip coming up right after the end of this term and I don't  think I've been this excited for anything else in my life. And from what Zen tells me, Katie's looking forward to this trip as well. Finally get to meet Katie in person, which I'm sure she's a greater person in real life than when we talk online. By the way, I believe Katie and I have known each other for probably five or six years now? I find it amazing that we're still friends since then, cause I've lost touch with almost the rest of my friends, which still saddens me. Anyways, I have that to look forward to and I'm sure I'll have a great time over there.       With all that said, I believe I can probably get some rest now. Would have been better to talk to someone about this, but nobody really around at 1:30 in the morning that would be willing to listen... Probably because they are all asleep. I'd like to thank those of your who read this (if any does read this, that is) for taking the time to hear me out. There is one more thing that I'd like to talk about, but I'll save it for some other time since it's kinda personal and I'm not ready to talk about it... Yet. Current Music: The sounds of everyone in the house snoring. (Comment on this)